Sharon Mulligan and Patrick Psaila are co-directors of PsyPotential Ltd, a company that specialises in leadership development, executive coaching and psychometric testing. Sharon is an executive coach and organisational consultant and Patrick is a warranted psychologist and training consultant. Both Sharon and Patrick have many years of experience in working with leaders and organisations to bring the best out of their people and maximise their potential.
As leaders and managers in organisations, feedback is one of the most important and powerful coaching tools for motivating and engaging people. At the same time feedback is both difficult and challenging to give and receive. This is because if it is badly delivered, it may leave people feeling demoralised, unappreciated, and even disrespected.
Acquiring the necessary skills to deliver clear, constructive and helpful feedback in a completely non-threatening manner should be a key element in any leader’s professional development. This is because for feedback to be effective and render the many benefits that come with it, it needs to be skillfully given.
Our experience of working with people in organisations has led us to develop an effective approach to feedback that we have termed, Ego-Friendly Feedback. This approach serves to lower resistance and defensiveness and increases openness and collaboration. The following are eight feedback principles that make our feedback Ego-Friendly. These are especially important to learn, adopt and apply if you have a leadership role in your organisation.
One of the biggest mistakes people make when giving feedback is that they do not plan the conversation. If the feedback is given in frustration and anger or in “raw form”, the only thing the person receiving the feedback will register is the negative emotion and attitude with which the feedback was given. So before giving negative feedback, take the following three steps:
1. Take time to calm yourself down
2. Think what you want the person to do differently
3. Prepare the words and tone you are going to use
Be mindful of your body language and its powerful impact on your message. Make sure that your feedback is useful and helpful to the individual’s development.
Using these practical tools and techniques when giving feedback will make it more likely that individuals are open to what you have to say. Giving skilled feedback is a critical motivational tool for managers and leaders that enables employees to know where they stand with respect to their performance and progress in their role.
It is also just as important that you always remain open to feedback and encourage people to give you candid observations about your skills, behaviours and leadership practices. This will help you to maintain a high degree of self-awareness and visibility of your challenges. It will also help you to avoid the trap of developing “blind-spots”, a common occurrence in leaders who do not elicit honest feedback and lose touch with how they are impacting the people in their organisation.
Finally, encouraging feedback from others is an effective way of fostering a feedback culture where you are open to receiving feedback as well as giving it to others.
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